Growing Up

I started to go to Christian counseling 2 months ago. Initially, I wanted to go through counseling because my life has changed so dramatically in the last 2 years and I felt like I just needed to get on track within myself. The sessions are starting to go very well. The first 4 weeks were mainly me just filling her in on my whole life: my childhood, the friendships that have recently ended, everything regarding my past relationships and everything dealing with Dan and I and the situations we have endured together. I am so thankful I found a Christian counselor. She has me reading "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" and she gives me verses to read out of the Bible. At the end of each session, we have prayer and I feel so relieved afterwords.

In the last 2 weeks, I have discovered how much I still need to grow emotionally. I guess I always knew it, however its a different story when you are seeing a professional and they tell you. I also discovered how much I have lost a sense of my self worth in a way.

As of now, I am working on being principle-centered... not friend-centered (which is what I mainly am) or anything-else-centered. Just principle-centered. My mind is cluttered with details I cannot control but somehow try to. My mind is cluttered with thoughts of other people and things that just dont matter. Its not a wonder why I seem to forget a lot of things and space out more often then not. Its just time for me to grow up and build up my self-esteem and thoughts. Its time for me to grow up so the things that dont effect me and my family are not clouding up my mind.

I am so happy and confident about going through counseling. It seems to be working already! I know it will be a substantial process to change my thought process... the thought process that I have always been so use to and "comfortable" with. I am not apprehensive of the fact that I am going through counseling. I am proud of the fact that I am strong enough to see that I need to become stronger. I am proud of the fact that I can sense that there is something that is just not right within myself and I need help. I am proud of the fact that I am getting good, mature help.

My next session is just a couple of hours out from now and I am anxious to see what will become of it.

Love,
Jessa

Homework

This damned paper is pissing me off! I am going to step away from it for the night. It was hard to start (changed the subject 3 times), it was hard to be motivated (after changing the subject so many times), and now its freakin hard to conclude. On top of that, I realized I should reword my intro to help me with my conclusion.

On Wednesday I will be able to finally start my Econ. presentation and paper that is due on... THURSDAY!

One thing is for sure, I cannot wait for this week to be over! UGH!